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If you didn't come here for the finer points of face-punching then, buddy, you came to the wrong place.

Jan 18, 2024

Middleweight does not look like Israel Adesanya or Robert Whittaker or Anderson Silva. It looks like this: the worst good fighter you've ever seen versus the best bad fighter you've ever seen. That's middleweight, baby.

James Toney vs Vassiliy Jirov and more fight commentaries on our Patreon:


Jan 11, 2024

Magomed Ankalaev is a man cursed. His life is hell, and this hell is not composed of circles but of one, endless spiral that goes forever down, down, down... into oblivion.

James Toney vs Vassiliy Jirov and more fight commentaries on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands

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Jan 4, 2024

After a not-too-well-deserved week off, Heavy Hands returns with the era-defining MMA awards show you've all been waiting for! The best, the worst, the stupidest--all get their time to shine at the 2023 Handies!

James Toney vs Vassiliy Jirov and more fight commentaries on our Patreon:


Dec 22, 2023

After a small, tech-related delay, we're back with whatever the hell happened at UFC 296. Colby Covington shat the bed. Brandon Royval gave up approximately 5,000 takedowns. Paddy Pimblett continues his dominance. And more.

Rakhmonov-Thompson, Aldana-Rosa, and more from UFC 296 on our Patreon: 


Dec 14, 2023

Big card, big episode! Leon Edwards vs Colby Covington, Alexandre Pantoja vs Brandon Royval, and Phil finally got his dream fight: Tony Ferguson vs super prospect Paddy Pimblett. It's all good stuff.

More UFC 296 breakdowns, PLUS our thoughts on Song Yadong vs the spectacularly self-destructive Chris Gutierrez on our...