Wed, 16 September 2020
Connor and Phil break down a top heavy but solid fight night card, and lament the seemingly inescapable fate of Tyron Woodley.
- You think losing 15 rounds straight is rough, imagine losing 10 rounds and then the next five are to Colby Covington
- Cowboy Cerrone's been on a slide, but Niko Price is literally only good at one thing
- Could Gerald Meerschaert's willingness to grapple be the key to throwing Khamzat Chimaev off, or is it just a less elaborate method of suicide?
- Johnny Walker vs Ryan Spann hurts so good
- and, of course: KEVIN HOLLAND ALERT
Direct download: 334_Bug_Kyle_McLachlan_on_Twitter.mp3
-- posted at: 12:15am EDT
Wed, 9 September 2020
Connor and Phil are probably a little too hard on the quality of the next UFC card, but that doesn't stop them from digging into a whole smattering of different matchups.
- Angela Hill probably should have beaten Claudia Gadelha, but Michelle Waterson looks like an open door into title contention
- We are surprised to discover that we love Khama Worthy
- Matt Schnell and Tyson Nam each specialize in winning the one style of fight which the other always loses
- The rise of Tediumreem, the continued silliness of OSP, and the sheer brilliance of Michel Pereira, the only freak athlete in the UFC who uses his power responsibly
Direct download: 333_SmorgasBored.mp3
-- posted at: 5:16pm EDT
Wed, 2 September 2020
Connor and Phil curse Aleksander Rakic for turning to be a REALLY boring version of Thiago Santos, and delve into a little MMA armchair psychology.
- Styles make fights, but what makes a style?
- How do Connor's worn out old archetypes translate to wrestling and grappling, or are they entirely different worlds?
- Phil Mackenzie revives the legendary Fighting Temperament Cheeseblock: https://i.imgur.com/W1P9oNB.png
- We mourn the final days of Brutal Bob Lawler, and console ourselves by celebrating Neil Magny, a true pro who keeps getting better
Direct download: 332_SMF2.mp3
-- posted at: 4:21pm EDT
Wed, 26 August 2020
Connor and Phil come to a realization about Aleksander Rakic that does not bode well for Lionheart Smith.
- Anthony Smith at his best, Anthony Smith at his worst, and how he does both at once
- We pour one out for Brutal Bob who, like fellow action hero Carlos Condit before him, has been sentenced to a slow death by lanky gatekeeper
- ...and more!
Direct download: 331_Cowar_Moob.mp3
-- posted at: 5:30pm EDT
Wed, 19 August 2020
Connor and Phil discuss the utterly bizarre Miocic-Cormier trilogy, and fear for Frankie Edgar's safety.
- Clinches, eyepokes, exactly two rounds worth of body shots but at the beginning of the fight this time; Stipe Miocic defied all of our expectations, except for the fact that he won
- Once Frankie Edgar may have taken Pedro Munhoz to school, but the Edgar of old has been replaced by Edgar the old
- John Dodson betrays Connor's trust, and Merab Dvalishvili may finally have found the key to title contention: being boring
Direct download: 330_Blinded_by_the_Fight.mp3
-- posted at: 8:43pm EDT
Tue, 11 August 2020
Connor and Phil break down the impending rubber match between Daniel Cormier and Stipe Miocic for the UFC heavyweight title.
- The MMA gods are capricious, and nowhere moreso than in the heavyweight division--but Phil is sure he's figured this main event out
- Sean O"Malley's got lots of flash and a good bit of substance, too--but Chito Vera may be the first man to really test his toughness
- How sad could JDS vs Rozenstruik be? he asked, fearing the worst
- John Dodson makes for a killer gatekeeper, but Merab Dvalishvili looks like the type to run headfirst through an oak door
Direct download: 329_The_Stupidest_Outcome.mp3
-- posted at: 8:49pm EDT
Tue, 4 August 2020
This week on Heavy Hands, Connor and Phil praise Derek Brunson for getting better, and squirt Derrick Lewis with the water bottle for thinking he gets to do the same.
- Who does Derrick Lewis think he is, trying to be good at MMA? Selfish bastard! Anyway, he's probably going to send Alexei Oleinik to hell
- Chris Weidman vs Omari Akhmedov is one of those special fights: very weird, sort of depressing, but undeniably interesting
- Long Back Benny is back to sling punches with the very durable but not very damaging Scott Holtzman
- Has Nasrat Haqparast learned any lessons about fighting wrestlers since his loss to Marcin Held?
- plus: Shahbazyan's missing jab, Derek Brunson's rebirth, and Lando Vannata's continuing struggle to be reborn
Direct download: 328_Derek_and_Derrick.mp3
-- posted at: 11:49pm EDT
Thu, 30 July 2020
Connor and Phil break down the surprisingly close fight between Robert Whittaker and Darren Till.
- We're more convinced than ever that Whittaker has lost a step, but we think we also finally understand what bugs him about these last two matchups
- Shogun and Lil Nog: MMA's version of Zeno's Paradox
- How about Nathaniel Wood's hands?!
- Derek Brunson is a perfect test for Edmen Shahbazyan, but more importantly, Connor loves Derek Brunson
- He also loves Ed Herman and Gerald Meerschaert
- KEVIN HOLLAND. KEVIN HOLLAND.
Direct download: 327_Totally_Shot.mp3
-- posted at: 1:15pm EDT
Wed, 22 July 2020
Connor and Phil ask: how good is Darren Till, really? And has Robert Whittaker deteriorated enough to get beaten by him?
- Could Whittaker have done better against Israel Adesanya? Does it matter?
- Shogun vs Lil Nog 3000
- Gustafsson vs Werdum: two men who apparently hate fighting
- RIP Joe B
- ...and more!
Direct download: 326_Wheres_Whittaker.mp3
-- posted at: 3:52pm EDT
Wed, 15 July 2020
Connor and Phil break down the incredible action in UFC 251's three title fights, and look forward to the rematch between Deiveson Figueiredo and Joe Benavidez.
- Jose Aldo came as close to beating Max Holloway as he ever will, and even closer to dying in the Octagon. Thanks Leon!
- Jorge Masvidal was in better shape than we had expected. It didn't matter
- Max Holloway is a liar. HE IS A LIAR
- Could Joe B have won that first Figueiredo fight without the clash of heads?
Direct download: 325_More_UFC_251.mp3
-- posted at: 6:27pm EDT
Wed, 8 July 2020
Connor and Phil sit down to discuss Usman vs Masvidal and the other two title fights set for UFC 251.
- So it's Masvidal vs Usman, in the end, only now on short notice. Can Masvidal force Usman back, or is he doomed to broken against the fence?
- Max Holloway approaches his rematch with Alexander Volkanovski with the attitude of a man who has just dreamed his own death. We hate it.
- Connor finally lets Jose Aldo go, just in time to realize that he might actually beat Petr Yan
Direct download: 324_ufc_251.mp3
-- posted at: 4:17pm EDT
Wed, 1 July 2020
Connor and Phil are joined once again by the scourge of the British Isles, Kyle McLachlan, to discuss Hooker vs Poirier and some great matchups we never got to see.
- Dustin Poirier is not shot, but also, Dan Hooker is not bad
- Sean Woodson is still good, don't listen to Kyle. I'm not crying
- Mike Perry. That is all.
- We chat about some legendary fantasy matchups: Aldo vs Cejudo (???), Aldo vs Pettis, Fedor vs Lesnar, GSP vs Silva
Direct download: 323_Guess_Whos_Back.mp3
-- posted at: 2:58pm EDT
Thu, 25 June 2020
A short discussion of how exactly we expect Poirier to destroy Hooker, and then Connor tenderly consoles his dear friend Phil, who was wrong.
- Dan Hooker thinks fighters who retire on the stool are marshmallows, which is a position no one asked him to take before stepping into the cage with Dustin Poirier
- Mike Perry vs concrete
- Phil has first nice, big cry in a long time. There, there. Josh Emmett can't hurt you.
- and more!
Direct download: 322_phil_loves_josh_emmett_now.mp3
-- posted at: 12:53pm EDT
Wed, 17 June 2020
Connor and Phil break down the upcoming card, which is QUITE strong, and review Eye vs Calvillo, which was QUITE BAD.
- Alexander Volkov is among the most skilled heavyweights in the world, and that doesn't look like it will be enough
- Phil's hatred for Josh Emmett reaches unprecedented heights as he contemplates the possibility of Shane Burgos getting aboslutely deaded
- Jessica Eye is incapable of change
- plus our breakdown of the very exciting Fili vs Jourdain and more
Direct download: 321_BeyBlaydes.mp3
-- posted at: 1:26pm EDT
Wed, 10 June 2020
Connor and Phil preview the surprisingly interesting Eye vs Calvillo card, and mourn two great perennial contenders who will contend no more.
- Jessica Eye is going to win by being just big enough not to lose the only kind of fight she knows how to have
- Can Ray Borg build on the boxing he showed against Ricky Simon? Is Charles Jourdain a problem for Andre Fili?
- Felicia Spencer's terrible corner, and the maturity of Amanda Nunes
- Assuncao and Formiga... we love you both. RIP
- Aljamain Sterling shocks the world, prompting the UFC to knuckle down on putting together Yan vs Aldo for the vacant title
Direct download: 320_death_of_a_craftsman.mp3
-- posted at: 4:06pm EDT
Thu, 4 June 2020
Tommy Elliott (@Muay_Khaoboy) of the Fight Site joins Connor and Phil to break down the big matchups of UFC 250.
- Does Felicia Spencer have like... any chance? Any shot at all?
- Raphael Assuncao seems tailor-made to beat Cody Garbrandt, but has he gotten too old for the former champ?
- We are all confused, frightened, and excited by whatever may happen in Aljamain Sterling vs Cory Sandhagen.
- plus, the slow demise of Tyron Woodley, and more
Direct download: 319_The_Vile_Carlyle.mp3
-- posted at: 3:21pm EDT
Tue, 26 May 2020
Connor and Phil have no idea what is going to happen between Tyron Woodley and Gilbert Burns. It's a weird fight. In fact, the whole card is kind of weird, but not uninteresting.
- Gilbert Burns has the grit to emulate Nate Marquardt, but does he have the technique, or the chin?
- Ivanov vs Sakai is a weird fight by heavyweight standards, which is to say that it might look sort of like a normal fight
- Mackenzie Dern gets a bounceback
- Katlyn Chookagian seeks to revenge herself on the sinister Shevchenko family
- ...and more
Direct download: 318_Does_Woodley_get_Burned.mp3
-- posted at: 9:37pm EDT
Tue, 19 May 2020
Connor and Phil talk about heavyweights, and then it's on to more uplifting matters, like robberies.
- Of all the ways Walt Harris vs Alistair Overeem could have gone, we got both of them. And it was sad.
- Angela Hill--ROBBED
- Edson Barboza--ROBBED?
- Chito Vera--probably not robbed, it was really close. In fact they were all pretty close.
- Eryk Anders vs Krzysztof Jotko reassures us that the earth is healing, and that there will always be a middleweight division
Direct download: 317_Competitive_Fights_and_Tragic_Ends.mp3
-- posted at: 9:15pm EDT
Wed, 13 May 2020
Connor and Phil lavish terrified praise on the newest version of Justin Gaethje, lest the next one come and find us.
- Was Tony Ferguson finally shot, or did Trevor Wittman build the perfect machine to destroy him?
- Henry Cejudo, the greatest combat athlete of all time, greater even than legendary pankratist Arrhichion, who paid for victory with his life, finally seems to know what he's doing, and then retires
- How does Alistair Overeem beat Walt Harris? other than taking him down, obviously
- Edson Barboza at featherweight.
- Chito vs Yadong. Chito vs Yadong. CHITO VS YADONG.
Direct download: 316_JG-1000.mp3
-- posted at: 12:58pm EDT
Wed, 6 May 2020
Connor and Phil talk UFC 249, and it's such a relief to have another UFC event to discuss, that thinking of Tony Ferguson hardly even makes them cry.
- Tony Ferguson finally gets his shot... at oblivion. Justin Gaethje might not win, but if he does, it'll be the saddest end to a legendary win streak in history
- Dominick Cruz would've been an easy pick over Henry Cejudo in his prime, so what's stopping him now? other than age, inactivity, and fourteen new debilitating injuries
- Calvin Kattar vs Jeremy Stephens. Hell yeah
Direct download: 315_Numbered_Event_of_the_Beast.mp3
-- posted at: 6:45am EDT
Thu, 30 April 2020
Another commentary episode for your quarantined asses. This time, Connor and Phil watch the title-winning performances of three of the UFC's most unique champions.
- The dawn of the Machida Era (and the birth of Shad face)
- Ben Henderson blows up Frankie Edgar's nose with his mind
- Dominick Cruz does bad technique in a good way, and who the hell is Brian Bowles
Direct download: 314_Weird_Kings.mp3
-- posted at: 6:06pm EDT
Wed, 22 April 2020
Connor and Phil survey the blasted landscape of three of the UFC's strongest weight classes, and decide a new champion for each.
Coronavirus comes for all men, and UFC champions are no exception. Now that Henry Cejudo, Khabib Nurmagomedov, and Kamaru Usman have all taken terribly ill, we seed each champ's respective division with eight top contenders, and let them fight for the vacant throne.
Let's hope the new kings disinfect the thing before sitting down.
Direct download: 313_Corona_Clash_2020.mp3
-- posted at: 2:19pm EDT
Wed, 15 April 2020
Jordan Breen joins the show to watch the breakout moments of some MMA legends.
- Khabib Nurmagomedov's UFC debut: awful, horrible, hideous striking--but obvious talent
- Jose Aldo vs Alexandre Franca Nogueira: technique, speed, power--Jose Aldo's WEC debut clearly indicated how great his potential was
- Jordan Breen talks about whatever Jordan Breen wants to talk about
Direct download: 312_Breakout_Fights_feat._Jordan_Breen.mp3
-- posted at: 6:33pm EDT
Thu, 9 April 2020
Connor and Phil preview a couple of tenuous UFC 249 matchups and talk about some of MMA history's more underrated technicians (and action fighters).
- What does Niko Price have to do differently to knock Vicente Luque out?
- Chito Vera's much bigger than Ray Borg, but will that matter once Borg starts wrestling?
- Chris Lytle, Martin Kampmann, Kazuo Misaki, and Mark Hominick--underrated technicians, all-time great action fighters
Direct download: 311_underrated_action_fighters.mp3
-- posted at: 4:04pm EDT
Thu, 2 April 2020
Connor and Phil cover some of the biggest turning points in MMA history. This week, we're commentating three fights that led the way forward in our still-young sport.
- Mark Coleman vs Maurice Smith: the dawn of sprawl-and-brawl
- Chuck Liddell vs Rampage Jackson: anti-grappling meets superior striking
- Fedor Emelianenko vs Big Nog: BJJ gets absolutely smashed by the MMA ground game
Direct download: 310_MMA_Impressed_Us.mp3
-- posted at: 2:41pm EDT
Wed, 25 March 2020
Man who go first do good. Man who go second do BAD. Unless...?
The Fight Site's Danny Martin joins us to discuss.
- Why are pressure, aggression, and volume so important in MMA?
- Is good, systematic striking defense really possible in this sport?
- How can a fighter seize the initiative without throwing the first punch?
- And more!
Wed, 18 March 2020
The last UFC event for who-knows-how-long was full of superb grappling, and we brought in the Fight Site's Ben Kohn to help us break it all down.
- Said Chucky Olives to the Motown Phenom: "We are not so different, you and I."
- Maia and Yahya: does MMA put a hard ceiling on positional BJJ?
- The extremely light heavyweight grappling of Nikita Krylov
- and more!
Direct download: 308_Brasilia_with_Ben.mp3
-- posted at: 7:31pm EDT
Wed, 11 March 2020
Connor and Phil recap the excellent and the disappointing from UFC 248, and look forward to a STACKED fight night card.
- The main event may have hurt both fighters' stock, but it was still a fascinating glimpse into the galaxy brains of Israel Adesanya and Yoel Romero
- Thank GOD for the strawweights
- Is the Tristar version of Kevin Lee aggressive enough to bully Charles Oliveira?
- Does Nikita Krylov beat Johnny Walker simply by having a good chin?
- and more!
Direct download: 307_Strawweight_Saviors.mp3
-- posted at: 11:38am EDT
Wed, 4 March 2020
Connor and Phil break down the two title fights set for UFC 248, and look back at Deiveson Figuereido's (almost) championship win.
- Will Israel Adesanya carry an early lead down the stretch, or is Yoel's uncanny ability to lose until he wins enough to give us a Pereira-esque KO?
- Zhang Weili is an athlete on par with Valentina Shevchenko, but a far shallower technician. So, will Joanna Jedrzejczyk win the last three rounds, or only the last two?
- Joe B's heartbreaking defeat, and the seven minutes of brilliant action that preceded it
Direct download: 306_ufc_248.mp3
-- posted at: 4:31pm EDT
Wed, 26 February 2020
Fight Site godfather and boxing historian Kyle McLachlan joins the show this week, not only to break down Tyson Fury's incredible win over Deontay Wilder, but to preview one of our most anticipated UFC fights of the year.
- Joe Benavidez is probably the best to never win a belt, but Deiveson Figueiredo is the future of the division--is Joe B too old for destiny?
- How did Tyson Fury dominate Deontay Wilder so thoroughly?
- Did Paul Felder and Dan Hooker lift one another up, headfirst right into their shared ceiling?
Direct download: 305_Fury-Wilder_feat_Kyle_MacLachlan.mp3
-- posted at: 7:52am EDT
Thu, 20 February 2020
Heavy Hands is back with a particularly ramble-y episode, in which we look forward to Paul Felder vs Dan Hooker, and try not to think too deeply about Diego Sanchez.
- Can Paul Felder's gritty wear Dan Hooker down, or will he get shot to pieces at range?
- Jimmy Crute vs Michael Oleksiejczuk, a light heavyweight matchup which is simultaneously very dumb and very intriguing
- Jan of Rivia avenges another defeat
- Diego Sanchez funny! And sad. Very FUNNY, though hahahaha! but sad
Direct download: 304_Felder_vs_Hooker.mp3
-- posted at: 2:58pm EDT
Wed, 12 February 2020
This week on Heavy Hands we are very pleased to be joined by Tom Elliott (@Muay_Khaoboy), who made an excellent study of Jon Jones in his Elements of Dominance series. And while we planned to talk about lots more, we ended up spending (more than) an hour and a half just talking about Jones vs Reyes and the results of UFC 247.
- What to make of this current version of Jon Jones? What isn't working, and what still impresses the hell out of us?
- Dominick Reyes obviously had the tools to beat Jones--but what could he do better next time?
- How many dully predictable wins will it take for Phil to stop haunting Valentina Shevchenko's Instagram comments?
- Get well soon, Derrick Lewis! and Ilir Latifi's future at heavyweight
- Has Mirsad Bektic Phil Davis'd himself?
Direct download: 303_REYES_REX_feat._Tom_Elliott.mp3
-- posted at: 7:55pm EDT
Wed, 5 February 2020
This week on Heavy Hands, we're figuring Dominick Reyes' chances against the light heavyweight GOAT, and saying a prayer so that Katlyn Chookagian's soul might find peace in the afterlife.
- Is Dominick Reyes as good as the light heavyweight champion, Thiago Santos?
- The question is not whether Katlyn Chookagian loses, but whether she looks more like Holm or Carmouche in the effort
- Is Dan Ige scrappy enough to take Mirsad Bektic out of his comfort zone?
- Derrick Lewis betrayed us by becoming Actually Good, but he's still probably gonna win
Direct download: 302_Jones_vs_Reyes_and_NOTHIING_ELSE.mp3
-- posted at: 6:45pm EDT
Wed, 29 January 2020
We've got a bit of a grab bag for you on this week's episode of Heavy Hands, what with so little of interest happening last weekend in Raleigh, and UFC 247 still a week away (and looking remarkably thin, at that).
- Rafael Dos Anjos was supposed to blow Michael Chiesa out of the water. He should have. What happened?
- Three years ago Junior Dos Santos would have given Curtis Blaydes serious problems. Is he officially over the hill?
- What good are pound-for-pound rankings?
- In particular, what good are pound-for-pound rankings when they include the likes of Jessica Eye and Katlyn Chookagian?
- Kamaru Usman: his chances of putting together a legendary reign, and the challengers most likely to stop him
Direct download: 301_RIP_RDA__JDS.mp3
-- posted at: 6:59pm EDT
Wed, 22 January 2020
The vaping scooter gang takeover continues, as the Fight Site's Srirarm Muralidaran joins us to break down last week's fights, and (surprise) next week's fights, too. It's a good one, folks!
- Conor McGregor did the thing he was always going to do to Donald Cerrone, who reacted in the way he always has
- Holly Holm and Raquel Pennington conspired to put on a fight even more boring than their first one
- Carlos Diego Ferreira surprised us, not by beating Anthony Pettis, but by using his best Nate Diaz impression to do it
- How awesome is Roxanne Modafferi?
- Is JDS a secret poison matchup for Curtis Blaydes?
- Would it be funnier for RDA to finish Michael Chiesa with body shots, or leg kicks?
Direct download: 300_UFC_246_feat_Sriram_Muralidaran.mp3
-- posted at: 11:54am EDT
Wed, 15 January 2020
The UFC is back after a three-week hiatus, and so is Conor McGregor, though his own break was both longer and significantly more full of sexual assault allegations. MMA, folks! Our topics this week:
- McGregor's gonna knock Cerrone out in round one--but what if HE DOESN'T?!
- Does Claudia Gadelha have the physicality to stop Alexa Grasso overwhelming her down the stretch?
- Carlos Diego Ferreira's long-overdue opportunity to break out
- Drew Dober makes for a great foil, but does he actually have a shot at beating Nasrat Haqparast?
Direct download: 299_UFC_PR.mp3
-- posted at: 4:36pm EDT
Wed, 8 January 2020
Connor and Phil claw their ways out of bed to compare Bellator champs to UFC champs. Then they die.
Direct download: 298_flu_edition.mp3
-- posted at: 8:33pm EDT
Fri, 3 January 2020
Billy Crystal and Phil Mackenzie join forces once again to celebrate another absurd(ly technical) year in the world of MMA.
That's right: here we are, once again, giving out Handies. And you're about to listen to it. Who had the best knockout of 2019? The best gameplan? What about the best gameplan that didn't actually work? Will Cody Garbrandt hold onto the coveted Worst Brain Thinking Award for the second year in the row? Who will take home the Patrick Wyman Memorial Award for Explosive Muscularity, and how could it not be Yoel Romero and Paulo Costa?
All of these burning questions answered, with only the slightest chance that you will experience a burning sensation in the bathroom. What better way to kick off 2020?
Direct download: 297_HANDIES.mp3
-- posted at: 10:58am EDT